It’s Niagara for Sly, Danger Mouse for Norah, Green Arrow for Amell, and His & Hers for Jessica & Joel

CASTING ABOUT:  When you’re hot, you’re hot. Jessica Chastain and Joel Edgerton are set to star in Ned Benson’s dual pictures The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: His and The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby: Hers,

CHASTAIN: Eleanor Rigby

which tell the same story from the male and female perspectives … Vampire Diaries grad Stephen Amell will play the Green Arrow in Arrow, the CW’s series adaptation of the DC comic book …  Sarah Jessica Parker has replaced Demi Moore as Gloria Steinem in the film biography of tragic porn queen Linda Lovelace … now that he’s wrapped his role in Lincoln for director Steven Spielberg, Deadwood resident John Hawkes, who was Oscar-nominated for Winter’s Bone, has won the lead role in the new screen version of Elmore Leonard’s Switch … and Denzel Washington may team up with Mark Wahlberg in a new action thriller called 2 Guns.

NO BIZ LIKE SHOW BIZ: The 18th Annual Tommy Sexton Benefit is set for this Friday in Sr. John’s at The Bella Vista. The Benefit raises much needed funds to support of the Tommy Sexton Centre, which provides emergency shelter

JONES: Mouse-catcher

services, transitional and supportive housing, and supports to people living with HIV/AIDS and those at risk in Newfoundland and Labrador … Kylie Minogue is celebrating her 25^th year (!!!)  in show business with a year of surprises and gifts for her fans, including a series of especially commissioned new recordings of classic Kylie songs, recorded at the legendary Abbey Road Studios … Norah Jones’ new album, Little Broken Hearts, due this spring, is her latest collaboration with producer-musician Danger Mouse. The two first worked together on his acclaimed 2011 album ROME … and no, I’m not making this up:

STALLONE: Taking the Falls

Fans of Rocky and Rambo, and we are legion, will be trooping to Niagara Falls at the end of the month for An Evening With Sylvester Stallone – Yo, Adrian, it’s the man himself! – at Fallsview Casino Feb. 24-25.

FLICKERS:  It’s the odds-on Oscar favourite, but before there was The Artist, there was Wings. And John Downing’s reminiscences about high-flying under-appreciated filmmaker Sterling Campbell are too good not to share … and here’s another one for the No Good Deed Goes Unpunished file — Clint Eastwood never thought he’d have to defend his stunning Super Bowl ad for Chrysler.  “I’m surprised that people that are supposed to be intelligent have interpreted it otherwise.” As for the backlash from people who thought the ad was endorsing the auto bailouts:

EASTWOOD: Make his day

“No one was endorsing any bailouts or anything like that. That was all supposition. All somebody daydreaming out there.” Hey, in the words of the late, great philosopher Gilda Radner: It’s always something … this year’s annual Swiss Television Awards glamourfest will open the 2012 Rose d’Or Festival on May 6 in Lucerne …. and  this year’s ReelWorld Film Festival is set for April 11-15, with Opening and Closing Night Galas at the Cineplex Odeon Sheppard Cinemas and regular screenings taking place at Famous Players Canada Square. Meanwhile ReelWorld alumnus Ava DuVernay, director of the RWFF 2008 feature documentary This is the Life and the 2011 RWFF Closing Night Gala film I Will Follow, picked up this year’s Dramatic Directing Award at Sundance for her movie Middle of Nowhere, making her the first black woman to win Best Director at the 12-year-old Utah filmfest.

STEVEN & CHRIS: La-Z boys?

LAZY: Feeling La-Z? If you’d like a La-Z Boy Recliner of your very own, why not win one? Dynamic designing duo Steven & Chris (yes, that Steven & Chris) are giving away a La-Z-Boy® gift certificate valued at $1,599. And the certificate can be used towards any La-Z-Boy® products and is redeemable at any La-Z-Boy® store in Canada. Just click here to enter. (I mean, if you’re so reclined.)

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Who wouldn’t talk about Hef, who got shortchanged in my TIFF tally, and who took home the hardware

GOOD MORNING, TORONTO: Welcome to another razzle-dazzle week of entertainment in Our Town.  Among the notable treats in store: The Boys In The Photograph, the new Andrew Lloyd Weber–Ben Elton musical about

SLEAN: on Abbey Road

young men and women involved with a neighbourhood soccer team in Belfast in 1969, opens tomorrow night at the Royal Alex … DanceWorks opens its new show, Namesake: three, on Wednesday at Harbourfront’s Enwave Theatre … also opening Wednesday: The new Allen Cole-Melody Johnson-Rick Roberts collaboration, Mimi (or A Poisoner’s Comedy) at the Tarragon  … Darren Anthony’s new concert show, Secrets Of A Black Boy, produced by his sister Trey (Da Kink In My Hair) Anthony, opens at the Music Hall on Friday, the same night conductor Jean-Philippe Tremblay, Anton Kuerti, Richard Margison and more launch a reportedly spectacular new

RIVERS: Saturday night

Royal Conservatory music venue, Koerner Hall, in the Telus Centre for Performance and Learning on Bloor Street West … Chick Corea and Sophie Milman christen the hall with jazz the following night … Celebrity Apprentice champ and TSC favourite Joan Rivers plays Casino Rama that same Saturday night … and Kevin Hearn, Raine Maida, Steven Page and Sarah Slean are among the celebrated warblers who will lend their voices when Andrew Burashko’s Art Of Time Ensemble salutes the 40^th anniversary of The Beatles’ Abbey Road with a re-imagined, re-invented concert version running two nights only, this Saturday and Sunday, also at the Enwave.

And that’s just for starters, folks.

MY BAD: It’s easy to get cross-eyed when so many stars come to town at the same time. At least, that’s my lame excuse for telling you that Colin Farrell and

BETTANY: double-header

Julianne Moore ruled the TIFF roost this year with three, count them, three films each, while celebrated runners-up George Clooney, Colin Firth and Amands Seyfried each appeared in two TIFF entries. All of which is true, except for two guys I forgot to mention. Don’t know how I missed him, but Willem Dafoe also deserved to be in that top spot with Colin and Julianne, as he appeared in no less than three TIFF titles this year: Antichrist, Daybreakers and Farewell. Sorry about that, Willem. And yes, Paul Bettany, who played Charles Darwin in the opening night film Creation and Lord Melbourne in the closing night film Young Victoria, should have been listed with Clooney, Firth and the young Ms Seyfried in second place. And yes, I’m just hoping I didn’t miss anyone else.

PLAYBOY OF THE EASTERN FILM FESTIVAL: After three capacity crowds jammed the TIFF cinemas where her much-discussed documentary on Hugh Hefner premiered last week, director Brigitte Berman admitted that

BENNETT: talking about Hef

by the time she finished shooting she had an embarrassment of riches, and had to delete scenes she loved from the original version to bring the film to a more manageable size. Deletions included interviews with the magazine magnate’s two sons, and the stories they tell about how they were treated in high school as Hugh Hefner’s offspring are apparently so fascinating that Berman intends to include that footage as a separate feature when the film is released on DVD. At a Q&A after the film she informed us that Playboy is the second best-known brand in the world — “Coca-Cola is number one,” she added — and that the toughest interview subject to secure, surprisingly, was Tony Bennett. “His agent is very protective of him, as he should be. But as soon as Tony was told of the request, he was all for it, and just a pleasure to work with.”

Did any key players from Hef’s past actually turn her down? “Yes,” replied the ever-candid Oscar-winning director — “Gloria Steinem, Jules Pfeiffer and Bill Cosby.”

WHO WON WHAT: As T.O. filmfest chief Piers Handling noted on Saturday night, TIFF delivered not only 335 films but also 10 days of consecutive sunshine – “the summer we did not have.” But thanks to superb programming, meticulous planning and the more than 2,000 volunteers (!!) who help make it happen, it was truly a festival to remember.

CLARKSON: winning film

Finally, just in case you missed it, here’s who took home the hardware from the 34^th annual Toronto International Film Festival.

– Best Canadian Short Film: Pedro Pires, Danse Macabre. Honourable mention: Jamie Travis,The Armoire.

– Best Canadian First Feature Film: Alexandre Franchi, The Wild Hunt.

– Best Canadian Feature Film: Ruba Nadda, Cairo Time, with Patricia Clarkson, Tom McCamus and Alexander Siddig. Special Jury Citation: Bernard Émond, La Donation (The Legacy).

– FIPRESCI Prize (Prize of the International Federation of Film Critics for Discovery:) Laxmikant Shetgaonkar, The Man Beyond the Bridge (India).

SIDDIG: Cairo Time

– FIPRESCI Prize for Special Presentations: Bruno Dumont, Hadewijch (France).

– People’s Choice Award: Lee Daniels, Precious: Based on the Novel “Push” by Sapphire. First runner-up:  Bruce Beresford, Mao’s Last Dancer. Second runner-up: Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Micmacs (Micmacs à tirelarigot).

– People’s Choice Award – Documentary: Leanne Pooley, The Topp Twins. Runner-up: Michael Moore, Capitalism: A Love Story.

– People’s Choice Award – Midnight Madness: Sean Byrne, The Loved Ones. Runner-up: Michael Spierig & Peter Spierig, Daybreakers.

TOMORROW:

Margaret Atwood, Twyla Tharp, Rick Mercer, and more.

Our very first Ms is 75 and still Glorious

STEINEM:still Gloria

QUOTABLE QUOTES: “It’s more of a feminist heyday now because I see more men who are real partners, real parents to their children and real allies to women. When I talk to groups of men, what they most want to talk about is how much they missed having real fathers. If we can help men become the fathers they wished they had, we’ll have a revolution!”

The speaker? The first and foremost Ms, the glorious Gloria Steinem, who turned 75 this year.

In honour of Ms. Steinem — who doesn’t seem to hasn’t slowed down at all — and also because I’m in transit today, between countries, we present the following feminist humour. It’s not all that new, and if you’re male you may miss some of the more delicate nuances. And if you’re female, please remember that, much as you’d like to, you can’t actually sign him up for any of these academic courses.

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Summer Classes for Men at THE

ADULT LEARNING CENTER

 

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED

By Friday, June 29th 2009

 

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL

OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED

TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

 

 

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays.

Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. 

 

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll–Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

 

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. 

 

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between Laundry Hamper and The Floor.

Pictures & Explanatory Graphics. Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. 

 

Class 5

Dinner Dishes–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM, 

 

Class 6

Loss Of Identity–Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday at 7:00 PM. 

 

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things–Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. 

 

Class 8

Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. 

 

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

 

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours. 

 

Class 11

Learning to Live: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location TBD.

 

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday & Thursday for 2 hours  at 7:00 PM. 

 

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

 

Class 14

The Stove/Oven– What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration, Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location TBD.

 

Upon completion of any of the above courses,

diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

-/-