QUOTABLE QUOTES: “It’s more of a feminist heyday now because I see more men who are real partners, real parents to their children and real allies to women. When I talk to groups of men, what they most want to talk about is how much they missed having real fathers. If we can help men become the fathers they wished they had, we’ll have a revolution!”
The speaker? The first and foremost Ms, the glorious Gloria Steinem, who turned 75 this year.
In honour of Ms. Steinem — who doesn’t seem to hasn’t slowed down at all — and also because I’m in transit today, between countries, we present the following feminist humour. It’s not all that new, and if you’re male you may miss some of the more delicate nuances. And if you’re female, please remember that, much as you’d like to, you can’t actually sign him up for any of these academic courses.
Summer Classes for Men at THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
By Friday, June 29th 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED
TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays.
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
The Toilet Paper Roll–Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Fundamental Differences Between Laundry Hamper and The Floor.
Pictures & Explanatory Graphics. Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Dinner Dishes–Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM,
Loss Of Identity–Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday at 7:00 PM.
Learning How To Find Things–Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Health Watch: Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost. Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours.
Learning to Live: Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location TBD.
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday & Thursday for 2 hours at 7:00 PM.
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy–Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
The Stove/Oven– What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration, Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location TBD.
Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors.